they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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