you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
