1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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