The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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