don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
