she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
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Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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