awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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