Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
