Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
