and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
