conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
