So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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