You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The best revenge is premature balding
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
