Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
