i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
