i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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