these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
