I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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