I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shit smells like andre
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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