You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
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my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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