Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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