Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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