She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
