I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
