I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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