hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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