K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
