you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
