I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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