You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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