I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize