sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
