Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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