I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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