She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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