so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
