so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
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just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
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I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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