At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
