I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
