You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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