Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
