i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
