May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
