you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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