we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
