I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
