I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
