I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
