I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
