Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
