Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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