i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
