He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I will be naked everywhere
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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