I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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