Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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