I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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