No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
