Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
