Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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