i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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