im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
