It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
