We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
