I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
