i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
There are leaves in my underwear?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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